Get Ready to Laugh
DAILY MEDITATIONS
A fresh green lawn spreads before you...
...acres and acres of lush, thick grass. Step onto it with your bare feet. Feel
the soft tickle brushing your skin as you walk through it. Feel the spring of the
earth below you, a soft cushion as you tread lightly. Feel the newness of this place
filling you up, and notice that impulse rising within. An urge to dance. An urge
to run. An urge to skip and hop and twirl. Let yourself go with willing abandon
and pour yourself over this carpet of green...
LISTEN, LOVE, LAUGH, LIVE, GIVE AND HELP!...
JOIN RED
"Look to this day,for yesterday is already a dream...
And tomorrow is a vision...
But today lived,
makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness,
and every tomorrow
a vision of hope.
Look well to
this day."
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MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHTS
Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-Thornton Wilder
The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
-Arthur C. Clarke
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit.
-Aristotle
Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.
-Voltaire
Experience is the child of Thought, and Thought is the child of Action.
-Benjamin Disraeli
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
-William B. Sprague
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
-Theodore Roosevelt
There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.
-Maya Angelou
If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
-St. Clement of Alexandra
We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am where I am because of the bridges that I crossed. Sojourner Truth was a bridge. Harriet Tubman was a bridge. Ida B. Wells was a bridge. Madame C. J. Walker was a bridge. Fannie Lou Hamer was a bridge.
-Oprah Winfrey
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
WORD OF THE WEEK
vicissitude \vih-SIS-ih-tood; -tyood\, noun:
1. Regular change or succession from one thing to another; alternation; mutual succession; interchange.
2. Irregular change; revolution; mutation.
3. A change in condition or fortune; an instance of mutability in life or nature (especially successive alternation from one condition to another).
2007 DECEMBER 2007
1 AIDS Day
4 Hanukkah
7 Pearl Habor Day
22 Winter Solstice
25 Christmas Day
26 Kwanzaa Begins
TONGUE TWISTERS
Perspicacious Polly Perkins purchased Peter's product
And peddled pickles to produce a pretty profit!
I never smelled a smelt that smelled like that smelt smelled
United States twin-screw steel cruisers
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously;
for nobody's toeses are poses of roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
A big black bear bit a big black bug
and the big black bug bled black blood.
Theophilus Thistle, the Thistle Sifter,
Sifted a sieve of unsifted thistles.
If Theophilus Thistle, the Thistle Sifter,
Sifted a sieve of unsifted thistles,
Where is the sieve of un-sifted thistles
Theophilus Thistle, the Thistle Sifter, sifted?
LINES FROM AN ACTUAL RESUMES
- I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and
spreadsheat progroms.
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave.
- Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial
institutions.
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
- It's best for employers that I not work with
people.
- Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my
experience.
- You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget
details.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to
move.
- Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged.
Uninvolved. No commitments.
- I have an excellent track record, although I am
not a horse.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I
possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I
should try stock brokerage.
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is
unpleasant.
- Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen
gallons so far.
- Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as
"job-hopping." I have never quit a job.
- Marital status: often. Children: various.
- Reason for leaving last job: They insisted
that all employees get to work by 8:45 every
morning. Could not work under those conditions.
- The company made me a scapegoat, just like
my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
INSPIRATIONAL
Even in the bleakest times,
there are gifts to be discovered.
Jann Mitchell
By amending our mistakes, we get wisdom.
By defending our faults, we betray an unsound mind.
The Sutra of Hui Neng
Some people develop a wishbone where their backbone should be.
Unknown
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO, HUMM!...
Artificial Intelligence stands no chance against Natural Stupidity.
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She sent me a fax with a stamp on it...
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A lawyer charging a high fee, a lawyer charging
a low fee and Santa Claus were seated around a
table in the center of which was $10,000.
The lights went off. When the lights came back
on the $10,000 was missing. Who took it????
Answer: The lawyer charging the high fee took it
because the other two are a figment of your
imagination.
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A guy dials his home phone number from work. A
strange woman answers. The guy says, 'Who is
this?'
'This is the maid', answered the woman.
'We don't have a maid!'
'I was just hired this morning by the lady of
the house.'
'Well, this is her husband. Is she there?'
'Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with
someone who I just figured was her husband.'
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, 'Listen,
would you like to make $50,000?'
'What do I have to do?'
'I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den
and shoot that witch and the jerk she's with.'
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears
footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. 'What should
I do with the bodies?'
'Throw them in the swimming pool!'
'What pool?'
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A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.
He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?"
The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good-looking?"
"So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."
The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"
"So she could love you, my son."
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